for the love of sleep

The drugs merge in my system  
take me under  
and for a while  
I can sleep  
four hours  
not enough  
never enough  
 
And this exhaustion  
has me wondering  
if I can shake the tree  
of unmentionables  
to see how long it takes  
to get me some Special K  
but I'm already straddling the edge  
between what's legal  
and what's not  
and I'm not desperate enough  
...yet  
 
And I wonder  
what's so wrong with me  
that I'm losing time  
to daylight dreaming  
with my imaginary friends  
that have more to say  
about everything  
than whatever auto pilot response  
rolls off my tongue today  
 
Cause you already noticed  
I'm not listening  
and it's exhausting your patience  
to see me constantly sliding  
into a different reality  
behind my eyelids  
that can't stay closed  
without a cocktail  
that only ever lasts four hours  
and leaves me staring  
blurry eyed at anywhere  
but your face  
that only ever looks disappointed  
every time I meet your eyes