Something we never were

I want her so bad that its causing me pain
So i walk away but the feelings remain
My life feels like there is only the rain
Her blue skies is what I'm trying to gain

But i have nothing to offer except scars and trauma
I know when she thinks of me all she sees is the drama

Shes everything that I've been looking for
Shes made me want to open every closed door
Shes trying to be a good friend but I'm wanting more
Cuz i feel like my heart she can restore

I want to know how it feels to have her im my arms
To be fully in the moment and hear no alarms

She sees me for what I am and she doesn't run
It makes me believe that she could be the one
Who Ive been looking for cuz I thought there were none
Who could break through my darkness and show me the sun

How cruel for the universe to bring her to me
When it knows full well that we could never be

I daydream about us building something together
Between our hearts I want to create a tether
I feel the two of us could handle any weather
And with her by my side life would only get better

She doesnt feel the same so it's nothing but a dream
Unable to let it out so internally i scream

I push her away cuz of how bad I want her near
Cant take another rejection so I react out of fear
I cried for her last night I tasted every tear
How do you tell your heart something it doesnt want to hear

I hope she understands that this isnt because of her
This is just me wanting something that i clearly don't deserve

Why would she ever want somebody like me
When she knows the truth that i could never be
Any source of happiness cuz I live only misery
Shes too kind to ever say it but she can't help but agree

Shes the one for me but i am not the one for her
I'm mourning the loss of something that we never even were