Sea Breeze Cafe

In a tourist town, at the sea breeze cafe, I popped in for a bacon bap and a nice hot latte.  
 
A short dumpy gremlin, whose name was Jolene, was being rude to the customers, tho she was quite pretty.  
 
But only on the face, her greasy hair was tied back in a bun, I'm sure she just like being a b*tch and did it all for fun.  
 
She should work at Karen's cafe, then she would be good at her job, instead of flobbing into people's cups of tea and acting like a yob.  
 
With a screw face on and her arms folded up, she chucked the menu to the customers like she didn't give a f*ck!  
 
I found it quite amusing, and other customers looked over with amaze, but don't let this little poison dwarf go and ruin this sunny day.  
 
StevO The Seagull, that's well known for robbing all the tourists, acting like a local crack feind, because the sausage rolls were more ish.  
 
He was perched at the window of the cafe, just waiting for his dins, Jolene opened up the window so that she could let him in.  
 
It looked like they were having a fling as they sat and munched their lunch, StevO coughed out a diamond ring for her. He must like her a bunch.  
 
Who had he robbed this time? With his shades on and his knife, there's some poor schmuck out there right now, with a ringless wife.  
 
Her feet slap along with toe thongs on, she hit me with the bill, I better pay this extortionate price. Otherwise, I might get killed.  
 
Sitting around in Town, I would see StevO about his ways, swooping down on tourist folk and leaving them in a daze.  
 
It was his way of getting paid, holding peeps up in town in the day and taxing them with his blade.  
 
Anyway I went back to the cafe one morning and brought my matey Joe, we took a seat and all we heard was "shut the f*ckin' window, it's bloody cold!"  
 
Jolene's brother, looking like a bent Micky Rourke, with a collagen face and eyeliner on, chucked us a knife and fork.  
 
It must have been the whole family, that were just a rude bunch of c*nts! All we did was pop in for a cupper and a spot of lunch.  
 
He told us again to "shut the f*ckin' window!" Like a cheeky little cretin, we got up to leave and rolled up our sleeves and said that we would smash his f*ckin' head in!  
 
The End