always was, always will be

It always was, it always will be.
 
Who am I now?
Much different than the girl  
Back there?
Isn’t that part of the fear –
 
To find I’d barely changed, barely grown
Despite the years, and the tears –
 
Stagnant.
Dead at whatever.
 
Go back, Carole King,
Florence and The Machine - “how could anything bad ever happen to you?”
Indeed, Selene, what the fuck, Selene –
Baby Selene, Teen Selene and her
Florence and The Machine,
 
I’m so sorry, darling.
 
Twirl around in your dreams, dizzying –
Barefoot, glass shards,
What did you break?
What did you want to bury?
In wines, in piles
Of pills and goodbye  
Letters –
 
In streams of tears and blood  
From wrist to lilac sweater –
Sweaty and writhing, sorry, baby,
Selene, Blackbird, baby
Broken wing, sorry.
 
It was you and I  
And Plath and Woolf and Flo and
The Water  
As Hozier echoes,  
 
Worship
This feeling,
It always has been, and it always will be.
 
Out of dreams and fears and  
Coffee clouds and chamomile,  
Always has been.
 
Our wasteland, baby, Eugene,
You were mine
For a time,
Only for a time,
 
I was yours forever.
 
Forever in the trees and vampire fantasies,
I love you forever –
Death becomes her.
Blackbird. Phoenix.
 
All this, heaven,
End, beginning.
Blood jet,  
Poetry.
 
Dark to light and back again –
 
Always was, always will be.