A Sticky Tale

This morning didn't start too well at all
when I superglued my privates to the wall
 
Doc told me not to cough said I'd have to have it off
and he was sorry that he couldn't save my balls
 
It filled my soul with dread that I'd be no good in bed
and the missus would go frantic I was sure
 
So brick by brick I chipped being careful not to nick
very mindful of the parts where I was sore
 
Long into the night I toiled without respite
to prove my will was stronger than the glue
 
And just as dawn was breaking when my balls were really aching
I freed myself but fell backwards in the loo
 
With the waters closing round me I thought my time had come
and I panicked when the roof came crashing down
 
After all that I'd been through my language turned quite blue
because I didn't think it fair if I should drown