Beyond the Veil

Beyond the Veil

By:

Joshua Jamal

I represent myself with confidence and humility/ I'm a gentleman with many gifts and a marvel to see/ one looks at me and see a handsome king/ but beyond what I represent so well that's hard to see/ is a damaged boy/ who's in internal conflict with his emotions looking to break free/ and in desperation for his "queen"/ due to exhaustion of fighting against the things/ that are within/ What things are those you ask, well where should I begin/ Besides that/ the answer would set where I'm taking you in a different direction/ it would take you more to my wound instead of my reflection/ the very thing I've had hidden to avoid possible detection/ because if known then I'm vulnerable and at someones mercy who's able to spot me/ I hide in the shadows, to hide me/ for I unveil my pains my wounds my tragedies/ if not by representative by way of habits/ no I'm not an addict/ I just need not to be internally stagnant/ and risk my waves of rammifications to hit my surface/ which is why when one get's too close I get nervous/ and self sabatoge/ if one reads into me too much I use a defensive fog/ and before you go a certain route to save me/ I already know there is a God/ I'm more comfortable living the fraud/ than living the truth/ for living the truth will cause me to face my insecurities/ my pains/ my issues/ the very things that cause me to pour out/ and rain my emotions/ and run out of tissue/ For when I'm in my truth/ my emotions hit me hard and as fast as a bullet from a pistol/ and my spiral from such a strike can be internally fatal/ to where my fatality turns from internal to external/  such anquish would cause one to find the nearest escape route to rest eternally/ finding a fast remedy/ to stop the pain and bleeding/ and wanting to go back to a place of bliss and dreams/ to alter and change permanently the current reality/ in short/ what's beyond the veil is one who needs healing and dieing slowly and internally/ who's in pain but wont even scream/ its funny how one like me is pushed aside and suggested to go seek help/ instead of being embraced by one who chooses to be my help/ its like you're forced to act like you can swim even though you're drowning/ and it takes one with a keen eye to tell the difference before you end up dieing/ but one can be/ in this practice for so long to where they forget thier truth and embrace the lie/ to where the lie becomes truth/ until someone flashes a light/ and undue all that work you put yourself through/ to barracade the pain and everything else/ when you see that something is hidden/ you're curious and you want the cloak to be dispelled/ ask yourself honestly if you're ready to see beyond the veil/ for whats being held hidden/ could be the person/ keeping something at bay for your sake/ because waves of a force that's made from a hell/ isnt something not everyone can take/ helping to fight someones internal hell head on is a noble thing to do/ Just make sure you're strong enough to take it/ before it consumes you/