well...I'll be...

 
I keep saying the words & know them to be true
proven time & again
last night for the first time...as I said it once more...
I actually listened
damn...the weight of its truth...
that shit hit pretty differently
crashing into my stupefied mind
overlaying what I always thought of as my reality
reshaping it with a whole new meaning
simultaneously shackling & freeing
removing culpability from him...
...placing it squarely on me
my decisions...my belief
...all that was up to me
but it also returns the raw power...
...to none other than me
like stepping into daylight just as clouds obscure the sun
brief & blinding
before it quickly dims
waiting for comprehension as knowledge settles in
what we learn builds our structure
every lesson another brick
it's up to us to not forget
...and we do...I'm sure I will
but for this moment it's crystal clear
I heard his words juxtaposed to his actions
still I allowed it
rather leaves me with the question...
...how much was I willing to shovel...
for all of that...I'd still rather give it a shot
believing myself worthy of love
because I firmly subscribe to the philosophy
...of self-fulfilling prophecy
gives me comfort to think...I'll get it right...eventually
I shake my head & shrug off the fact...
...it took me this long to see
as I repeat the phrase I'm constantly saying

people will believe what they want to believe