just say it

 
three words

that is all

just three
words

that seem to get stuck
in the throat like a chicken
bone or water gone down
the wrong pipe

or maybe it's the fear of how
others would take those
words

or maybe growing up
in families where shame
bloomed like poison
sumac and it was
never spoken

or it was spoken as
an IOU never paid

whatever the reason

I know now that time is
not our gift

time is something we
have to pay back to
the universe sooner
or later to atone for
our mortality

...and we don't have
time to wait for "just
the right time"

so past the chicken bones
fear and shame

past the hemlock
cup of my
family

I learned just to
say it

...so I will

I love
you