A question unanswered

What reason to stay up, remain  
awake — stare  
 
at the wall, indulge in waking dreams,  
or at the television, un-watching?  
 
The music player plays,  
but I am un-listening.  My thoughts  
 
churn in my presumed graying brain, churn  
and amplify: write what  
 
nobody will read.  Read  
what I will surely forget.  Eat  
 
and regret, drink
and ruminate.  
 
Music and film merely blanket the void,  
the silence, the stillness that underpins  
 
our days.  If this were my last evening, if  
my universe ended tonight,  
 
would I stay up, or would I lie, quiet  
on my bed, breathing slowly  
 
deeply, in the fullness  
of emptiness?  
 
What reason to stay up, and in the morning —  
get up.