Simple Deadly Changes

Change is such a funny little thing.
Our daily repetitive burnt out lives, longing for a slight difference in what is brought onto tomorrow.
Because one simple change can be all it takes for somebody to completely hit rock bottom.
But it also ought to be one of the most unexpected, subtly frightening things.

Because that night you see, things had changed so much for me.
Your soothing words flow like the lullaby of death and the silent impact is most disastrous.
For that night what seemed so simple, was far more impactful than anyone ever could have thought.
Because now with another on my mind I need to learn to not get so distraught.
Because growing love from another isn't something I’ve taken as the greatest grain of salt.

Though I find myself more angered at the one who’s eyes I meet in the mirror each morning.
Because I hadn’t thought I’d truly be ready to love after such a long period of mourning.
I guess love is a silent killer.
One uncaught and untamed, bringing little lies down in a bed unmade.
Nobody is ready for when love finally sets in their air.
Their breath consumed by the chemical balance of another, and the love woken from a deep slumber.

And here I thought I’d never be in the warm embrace of another.
I’ve wasted so much time grieving a loss that was not mine, to find myself under a suspect light.
Because need not get me wrong, I didn’t believe that love would be once again mine.
So it’s an incremental set of fear that I somehow have to get by.
Because looking up into the sky, and thinking of somebody new is something I didn't think I’d have to do.
At least not this soon.

It’s true what they say, “Believe it and it’s already yours,” because I’ve believed I’ve loved myself since the end of my mourning.
I just didn't believe that the love I gave myself would eventually be rewarded.

And until I did, what was already before me.
Became so much more clear, that cold winter morning.
Your text was unexpected, but it was needed.
Because of you now, I believe I can grow my love with you, in a healthier way this time as I perceived it.
 
Because although it’s somebody new, I’ve learned to stand my ground.
And not take advantage of the little words with such a powerful impact.

Because those words, I Love You, is what I hope to say to you, at the end of our life contract.