I Was Afraid

Here's to the boy I kissed goodbye
Here's to the boy who honestly enjoyed me and made it known that he did
Here's to the boy who said "there is no thing displeasing about you" and gave too much of himself to me even though i warned him
Here's to all the warning signs up and down my wrists
Here's to the fear instilled in my heart because I don't know what love is
Here's to me crying my pillow to sleep because I broke his heart and I still love him too much.
I hate myself because I can't get over the fact that if he came to me, I'd take him back.
I'd take him back.
Please, come back.
I crave the way your eyes dull when I said I'm sorry
Everyday you look me in the eyes and speak the words of a friend but all I can hear is "I still love you, I still love you, I still love you."
You asked about my cuts and I lied, I don't have a cat and you know it.
I was afraid because noone has ever ventured the caverns of my soul and came out alive, did you want to come out alive?
You were ugly, you still are, but you make me laugh more than Shakespeare and Micheal Scott ever have.
I miss you.
I love you.
Don't move on, because I'm paralyzed and I couldn't follow you.
I'm sorry I was afraid.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'll kill anyone who hurts you, that's why I'm hanging this rope in my closet.
I hurt you.