Wtf

When my lover ran off with another lover
What the fuck was she thinking, really?  
How could she love me so hard  
Then goddammit suddenly leave me  
 
I refused to believe she’d do that to me
She’d told me she loved me
and furiously
I really did feel that she meant it
Truly
But the whole fucking thing filled me with insecurity  
 
I was genuinely concerned for her mental state  
Flaky,  like a blow up car-yard inflatable soul mate
I’m not sure if she had really planned to leave me  
Just straight out impulsive tom-foolery
 
She said she wanted to explore “variety”
That she sought to expand her love differently
And despite the self-declared un-ambiguity  
I couldn’t really understand her trajectory  
 
And now that she’s back  
I wish things were clear
I have nothing solid to rely on  
and everything to fear
She said she wants me again  
on the one hand
But on the other  
straight out chatting to another man
 
I swear she’s legit back
To every word I’m clinging
But the notifications on her phone  
keep pinging