(17) Neverending Misery 12.05.23 @ 11:14pm

Suicide on my mind.
Wishing I could reverse time, rewind.
The day will come, I will no longer be here.
Life won’t be a problem anymore, nothing to fear.

If waking up in the morning isn’t a blessing, what is?
Anger and hatred go hand in hand, what’s this?
Life’s overrated, here’s my reality.
Love is dead, death by fatality.

It shouldn’t be like this, life on earth.
What’s the concept of life really worth?
I’m tired of pretending like everything’s alright.
Eyes glowing red as I’m running from the light.

When the time comes, I’ll be ready.
I’m not going out without a fight, I keep it steady.
I’m godless and free in ways you’ll never comprehend.
Never question me, I’m staying solid ‘till the end.

Suicidal fantasies as I’m reminising.
Intoxication takes place but something’s missing.
I don’t recognize myself in the mirror.
After the smoke sessions, everything seems clearer.

Pupils are foreshadowed by the nobodies in the world.
Prison, death and hospitalization, I’m ready to hurl.
The trigger can only take you so far.
Anything goes when you’re in a hot car.

Euphoria laced with paranoia, anything for a sack.
I’m good for the moment, until everything turns black.
Before my arrival, happiness never did exist.
Playing with fire, I’m next on deaths list.

Contemplating committing suicide;
Will I ever stop getting high?
What I feel will never be relevant to you.
I’ll just go through life with the blues.

Good times back then became painful memories
I blame the methamphetamines.
We all make our choices in life, some being dirt.
I’m embracing death for what it’s worth.

Cigarettes turn to ashes, demons fell victim to redrum.
There isn’t much to this life but a quarter gram of coke.
My mother cries at night, seeing her son nodding out on dope.
I tell her “I love you” but I’m dying inside, there’s no hope.

It’s impossible to kill what’s already dead.
Contemplating homicide suicide, enough said.
These voices will never be pleased.
Conquering my own hell, I’m at eaze.