deepundergroundpoetry.com
Winter Wind That Wicked Bitch
The winter wind is a wicked bitch
Feel her sting, when you do
You may end up in a ditch
Like a grocery bag from a now
Defunct store
Feel her blade across your neck
As you get iced the fuck out
You can keep the sunny days
Her soul thrives in the gray
Thoughts of mayhem and unspeakable
Acts pulsate in her mind
The winter wind is a wicked bitch
A journey with her can leave you
Wanting and begging for more
Breathless chilled to the core
She’ll always be my whore;
Feel her sting, when you do
You may end up in a ditch
Like a grocery bag from a now
Defunct store
Feel her blade across your neck
As you get iced the fuck out
You can keep the sunny days
Her soul thrives in the gray
Thoughts of mayhem and unspeakable
Acts pulsate in her mind
The winter wind is a wicked bitch
A journey with her can leave you
Wanting and begging for more
Breathless chilled to the core
She’ll always be my whore;
Published 29th Apr 2012
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29th Apr 2012 6:30pm
strong enough voice you use for this.A good opener
kind of gets a bit confusing on the 2nd and 3rd line ;
"Feel her sting, if you don’t
You’ll end up in a ditch"
the rest of that sentence is a good simile "like a grocery bag.." etc
I think ;
Feel her sting, when you do
You may end up in a ditch
implying that feeling her sting could put you there rather than the lack of feeling it.
anyhoo, a good start. best o luck.
kind of gets a bit confusing on the 2nd and 3rd line ;
"Feel her sting, if you don’t
You’ll end up in a ditch"
the rest of that sentence is a good simile "like a grocery bag.." etc
I think ;
Feel her sting, when you do
You may end up in a ditch
implying that feeling her sting could put you there rather than the lack of feeling it.
anyhoo, a good start. best o luck.
29th Apr 2012 6:39pm
Eamon, in fact it should've read like that.
Writing while sleep deprived can lead to errors.
Thank you for being the first to welcome me here.
I'm enjoying what I've read thus far.
And I really like your style.
Thank you for pointing that out. 8)
Writing while sleep deprived can lead to errors.
Thank you for being the first to welcome me here.
I'm enjoying what I've read thus far.
And I really like your style.
Thank you for pointing that out. 8)
30th Apr 2012 1:44am
You can feel the wind biting at ones face through the way it reads...
and welcome to DU!
and welcome to DU!
30th Apr 2012 2:46am
Thank you for the welcome and
love for my piece...
Glad you like it... =)
love for my piece...
Glad you like it... =)
24th Aug 2012 5:46pm
Nicely written poem. "She will always be my whore," too. Thanks for sharing this.
marcella1
marcella1
