I AM NOTHING

On the day I was born
What was meant to be a warm spring day turned cold
That is what I have been told
I was born silent
Giving rise to a panick
Because I didn't cry
Giving rise to the irony
That I'd grow up with watery eyes
Through the years
I have been a strange kid
Comfortable with being alone
Comfortable with walking my own path
Just doing me without the need for validation
However
This has brought tons of commentary
Each highlighting that I'm not ordinary
Tons of why's
I was not rebellious don't get me wrong
I was just a nerd in a world that wanted to be cool
An introvert in a world that wanted to socialise
I just focused on extracurricular activities
When everyone was experimenting
I chose friends from every walk of life
When everyone chose to be with their own kind
I just did me when everybody tried to emulate somebody

I wasn't trying to be the dark horse
But when on a few bet on me I won the race
Many hated the change in the status quo
I had to show my fangs
I'm not the geek you walk over
I'm the good guy who became a gentleman
Still I found myself having to give a good fight
In the end I won again
The laughter turned into applause
Then in the face of my seeming triumph
I lost it all

I may not have cried
But I did feel the hits
I may not have cried
But my heart has been broken ever since
I have tried
I really did
But ultimately I did lose
Ultimately I gave all the nay sayers
A reason to celebrate
They enjoyed my downfall
I wallowed in the loses
 I felt like a failure

Maybe I wouldn't have bothered anyone
If on that day I just stayed silent
If I just didn't open my eyes and take a breath
The oddball would've never lived
The oddball would've never loved
The oddball wouldn't bother anyone

You live your whole life trying to be somebody
Only to learn that you are nothing
That nothing matters
And the whole world will frown at you
Just for being a tad different
Just for living in your own timeframe
Just for not being in comtempt of others

I am nothing I know that
Nobody wants to be around me
Still I am a blank slate now
It wasn't my intention to standout
Yet here I am

All I can do from now on
Is just turn nothing into something