deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fishing & a 12 year old Girl
A message in the playground
top secret on crumpled paper:
Meet me
at the 'Splash' on Saturday
She came
wearing white school socks
pulled up to below the knee
and it surprised me
how wise she seemed
She knew the names of seven fish
so I realised
not every girl in my school
could be stupid after all
She talked a lot and smiled,
squirming one foot
against the other
hiding muddy shoes
I would have polished them
with spit if she'd asked
mutual worship
banishing remnants of shame
I showed her
how to set a worm on a hook
and she wasn't scared
to walk through the woods
It didn't matter
she was slightly taller,
it sort of felt good
knowing fishing was just an excuse
And then we were running,
late home for tea
obsessed with different directions
that first kiss in a clearing
and the taste of sunlight
still roaring in our ears
I prayed no-one had seen
made her swear
she'd never tell
not a single living soul
about the terrible thunder
jumping that day
in our hearts
But the Devil
was out of the bag
and maybe God was angry too
because for some reason
as yet unexplained
we didn't speak again
about the biggest fish
I never caught.
top secret on crumpled paper:
Meet me
at the 'Splash' on Saturday
She came
wearing white school socks
pulled up to below the knee
and it surprised me
how wise she seemed
She knew the names of seven fish
so I realised
not every girl in my school
could be stupid after all
She talked a lot and smiled,
squirming one foot
against the other
hiding muddy shoes
I would have polished them
with spit if she'd asked
mutual worship
banishing remnants of shame
I showed her
how to set a worm on a hook
and she wasn't scared
to walk through the woods
It didn't matter
she was slightly taller,
it sort of felt good
knowing fishing was just an excuse
And then we were running,
late home for tea
obsessed with different directions
that first kiss in a clearing
and the taste of sunlight
still roaring in our ears
I prayed no-one had seen
made her swear
she'd never tell
not a single living soul
about the terrible thunder
jumping that day
in our hearts
But the Devil
was out of the bag
and maybe God was angry too
because for some reason
as yet unexplained
we didn't speak again
about the biggest fish
I never caught.
Published 17th Feb 2010
| Edited 20th Sep 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 17
reads 1079
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
17th Feb 2010 12:50pm
so tender its A,the last two lines are impeccaable,really moving piece!That title hooked me straight:-)
17th Feb 2010 5:24pm
Wasn't sure I'd keep that title - I think I've been grabbing the first ones that pop into my head lately - so there's one less chore, Priya. Thanks for that kind feedback.
Anonymous
17th Feb 2010 5:13pm
I love this one!
I really identify with that 'thunderous hearbeat' when you first encounter the magic of innocent romance.
I'm going to find a way to get this onto my list!
S
I really identify with that 'thunderous hearbeat' when you first encounter the magic of innocent romance.
I'm going to find a way to get this onto my list!
S
17th Feb 2010 5:18pm
That first kiss is something you never forget - truly terrifying when you've never done it before! Thanks for your kind feedback, Steven.
17th Feb 2010 10:10pm
17th Feb 2010 10:30pm
Glad you liked it - thanks for reading and taking the time to leave a comment.
18th Feb 2010 1:35am
missed alot while I've been absent.
You've come up with some real gems.
Well done.
You've come up with some real gems.
Well done.
18th Feb 2010 12:19pm
18th Feb 2010 1:55am
that's exactly how i feel.
as if he's a fragrance
that never wants to leave my senses.
very good poem.
it spoke to me.
as if he's a fragrance
that never wants to leave my senses.
very good poem.
it spoke to me.
18th Feb 2010 1:27pm
So happy this spoke to you. That sensory crossover is one of the peculiar wonders of being in love. I think it happens to most people if not everyone - when every sense is heightened to the max and all things become enmeshed.
Anonymous
18th Feb 2010 7:18pm
the previous comments. An amazingly tender piece, rich with heartache and innocence.
18th Feb 2010 10:47pm
Things almost taken for granted now can have an overwhelming intensity when you're 12. Thanks for your kind feedback, Jack.
22nd Feb 2010 4:43pm
I love this one... I read many poems, but comment on very few... but this one is a real gem and so it would be an injustice if I did not comment. I love it. It makes me feel all giggly and warm... Thank you, C.
22nd Feb 2010 5:41pm
Then that's really the best feedback I could have for this poem. Thank you so much. Please try and comment more if you can. Everyone loves to get feedback about their work.
1st Mar 2010 9:30pm
Glad I didn't miss catching this one.
The description of the kiss; terrible thunder jumping in hearts, was so sublime.
The description of the kiss; terrible thunder jumping in hearts, was so sublime.
2nd Mar 2010 00:21am
It's a great thrill to get such wonderful feedback. Thank you for taking the time and trouble to comment.
Anonymous
17th Oct 2012 10:39pm
Great write of tender love and innocence. :)
