The Yellow Pages

 
The sound of my cries went unheard
as the wind blew through my soul
A chill moved in and my spirit shiver
for the first time I was unsure you love me
 
Vulnerable in my regret  
I rose to greet an unforgiving sun
blaring on my shame  
until I could see nothing else
 
Blind to my flaws I look everywhere else  
looking closely at others I search beeshechingly
if I was not liked surely it was their fault
It never occurred to me, Father
I had errantly incurred your wrath
 
Your jealousy pricked
you tried to get my attention
in the pained eyes of those around me
Forgetting they were extensions of you, yourself
my heart sought out their idosycancies  
finding them all on the same channel
even the strangers glare  
at me with the same look of indecsion  
Until I knew for certain
it was you vying for my attention
 
Scorned and alienated
you made me for your pleasure
I wasn't fulfilling my role as a handmaiden
you would not accept this as an answer from me
 
My heart heavy with grief
pull away at your correction
I wanted the love of a human
 
Above yours...unfaithfully