"good on paper"

   
   
   
    a deeper meaning could be behind a few words; even when I say that I drink to numb my nerves; everything looks "good on paper" until paper has no use;    
   
     then it becomes about, how much more good are you in groups; I'm an "introvert" who day by day learns "the truth"....  
   
      
  and the truth is, ones' vulnerable to sleep, depend on plenty things external, and thoughts run through the mind, more than the body outside could ever do....  
   
 why many times, I wish that I could.... just.... poof.