the final gift

 
one day...
...when all my breaths have been spent
I will rest
...and for the first time since infancy...
...be without fear...depression...anxiety
I can only imagine...
...moving through the world
...either as wraith...or corporeal...
...unaffected by darkness
not studying every alley & shadow
assessing danger at every turn
what will that be like...

when my final exhalation releases my sacred being
into a diaphanous mist of hopefulness
free to spread & to grow
touching with love...
...all those I've cherished & known
I will cover them
in my indefatigable spirit
the essence of my unwavering devotion
when my energy is no longer divided
between taking care of them...
...and survival

I will become invincible
beautiful
more alive than in life
they will feel me
...and know...
...they will never again
...be alone