finding closure alone

I told you I couldn't make us work anymore
...and you just walked
not a sign of remorse
no questions asked
just gone
if I would have had a chance...
...this is what I would have said...
I never should have been the only one carrying us
the truth of you...
was more than you shared
less than I deserved
as you led me through your tangle of half-lies
feeding me beautiful words...
...on the stinging edge of a whip
crowding me...
into the darkest corners of my own mind
the perfect prison...
for someone as fractured as me
if anyone had listened through the walls
they would have thought they heard passion...
...but it was just sex
and I'm angry...
that I allowed my own worst aspects to chain me
as you always intended I should
a friend recently told me...
I need to pick my spots
not everyone deserves my soft
I understand the sentiment...
...it makes a lot of sense
but I gave my most vulnerable to you
...only to have it weaponized
I've never been afraid of sharing my tender underside
until now...
so I'm armoring my sensitive belly
and reclaiming control...
...over me
details aren't important here
so I won't divulge  
but I'm one helluva catch
and you know it
otherwise I'd be saying this to your face
getting the closure I seek...
...in person  
but this will do
I'm only saying what you always knew
...and hoped I'd never see for myself  
so I understand why you left without a word
you saw it before I did
 
I see it now
 
closure found
 
 
 
 
 
Chapter ended...book closed