Everybody is a Weiner

Welcome to Stiffy's weiner palace!
Come, drink in our wonderment like a chalice,
we know you made the right choice!
Put our weiner in your mouth and rejoice,
so yummy and thick,
you'll keep grabbing for more really quick.
Grab one in each hand,
and take yourself on a trip to pleasure land!
No need to fuss or fret,
our weiners have the best standard to be met,
we carefully pull and tug on each in turn,
making sure for you they churn
some cosmic feelings of joy.
Many claim to be the best but fail to employ
our patented Stiff Weiner secret technique,
which is why it's so good and unique!
Don't worry about table manners here,
juice running down your chin is our sincere
desire you see,
we hope you'll have a weiner or three!