Trauma

Sometimes I can't help but think I am lost.
In a deep,hollow loop.
As I swim and fly,searching for the truth.

And the monster growls.
I can't deny its name.
it doesn't have much fame.

And things I can't escape.
Most of us relate.
And we all know today's date.

As we look at our calendar.
Sighing as we look away.
I sleep and my worries go away.

On this date we first saw it coming.
A future I don't rely.
And a destiny I can't deny.

While I really hope for the best.
I may not be like the rest.
As you put my skills to the test.

And my heart beats fast in my chest.
And I get my this night's rest.
And I take a plane to another dimension.

Where everything is possible.
Where everything does exist.
And a world I can't resist.

A world in my the palm of my hand.
As I put a bandaid on the scar.
Hoping in the future I get far.

But I'm not  a medium.
Nor  a witch.
So  I can't predict which scenario will happen.

I will just wait and see.
And be who I want to be.
As I spread my wings and begin to flee.

Free in the sky,free in the air.
But I am not really there,it's all a dream.
And I wake up in my bed.

Hoping I get to do this all over.
A loop I don't like.
But a loop I can't control.

A loop I have no control over.
And a loop I can't name with words.
A loop ,that I explain in this poem.

This monster,it ruins us inside and out.
And he is famous for being there without you needing it.
His name is trauma.

And a law I can't control.
While this has a bad side,and a good side.
There's no denying that.

I take it in,face my fears wearing my hat.
Trying my absolute best.
As I get my daily rest.

As i write this poem,using the free time I have left.
Before the monster growls and catches me.
Leaving me with no choice.

And leaving me with a raspy, weak voice.
That only the special ones can hear clearly.