Train wreck

If only I had known back then.  
Had I only had a clue. .
I wonder what i would have changed..I wonder what id do.
Because I knew not what the future  held.
I gave it not a thought.  .
I just lived my life quite selfishly.    
Ignoring all that I was taught.  
But I paid no mind,  I knew it all...
I was young and dumb.
Never thinking of the pain
That was yet to come.  
And now here I am ,20 years passed by...
And my life is town apart.  
I had no clue it would hurt this bad...
I thought I was ao smart.
My husband died,  my daddy too..
My son is locked in jail.
Im battling addiction and its a living hell.
I've tried so hard to change to who they want me to be....
If only I had known back then when life was young and free  .
Perhaps i wouldn't  be facing this.    Trouble yet again ...
Maybe instead of a loser, id have instead learned how to win.  
Moral of the story folks is please think n plan ahead.
All those folks you depend on now will someday  all be dead.  
And you'll be left here all alone....stuck back in the past.    
Cuz you may not know it now but life goes by so fast. . .
And yes we're all adults and we are  surely grown but if you do not plan ahead...you'll feel left here all alone.  
So plan for your own future...your gonna need a plan ..
And please listen to my words ok...one day you'll understand .