Fool at heart

I am not an object
I am not a prize
I am not at your disposal
I am not your high

Emotions run deeper than the lowest valleys
And deafen my ears like a high school pep rally

Chills shoot my nerves with the pain of a thousand pinpoint needles
Numb to my fingertips, this has to be illegal.

Doubled over in agony
Words retch my guts
Vomiting memories
Again it cuts

Over and over again I was baited, duped and hoaxed
But as insane as it was, I was thoroughly engrossed

How can someone fall for the same trap after so many times
Lock me up, cuff my heart and absolve me for my crimes

Questioning every word
Checking every sign
Pondering every action
Reading between the lines

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, it’s nothing  new.
I’ve tried so many times hoping for a  different result
But burned by the flames
Once again
I’ve been engulfed.