so you think you want to be an addict

Talk about a way with words..

Until finally, after all the shady deals,
the near misses the Judas kisses, the false starts
and the endless line of heavy hearts . damn. well i dont think i wana be an addict.. =). if only . awesome throw down as always. i wait on your posts like a dog in heat.

Devil woman,Thanks for the kind comment.

good of you to drop by and leave your thoughts.

and your scent.

by the use of vocabulary and ideas for metaphors here. this write is pressed to the edge all the time and i love running with it... shows your versatility in structure and subject matter (not that you don't switch it up pretty regularly anyway). hits its target. fair play, and "jaysus, Eamonn", and shine on, etc. [:

Jesta.  
 
Glad to have impressed you since I try take your lead in versatility  
 
yeah, Iv'e been tinkering about with different schemes and structures,trying to get something that is a little different.
It's all in the trial and error I think.  
 
really appreciate your input into this one.  
 
Thanks for leaving your eloquent footprint and your thoughts.  
 
and Jaysus girl!  fair play! and shine on yourself :)

Like commenting on a moving target. The internal rhymes have moved to the outsides. Great read man. I think you have gained quite a bit of polish since it first appeared in competition, and in the last few hours as well.  

Steve.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

well, you are right of course, it has moved a bit since the competition.

sometimes i can get a great skeleton of a write going  and then lose it in the polishing.

I am always grateful for any and all help I can
 get and was lucky to pull help from two great writers on this one.

Thanks again for the read and comment, great to have you by man!  

there are a lot to take in with every sentence. Cruel metaphors for the cruel life of an addict.
I can't say much else as they have already been said.
keep it up!

Opheliac.

good to see you.

I believe you have said more than you say on your own poems. for that I am very grateful.

thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts.

I try to keep it up ..god knows I try :D

and it shows.

Well, Holy shit-fuck Eamonn.
 
 
It's like a map of the afflicted's world. A lonely, unfortunate place where none but the center of it can truly witness the craggy, grey walls become higher and more threatening.  
 
Perfectly played.

well there you are violet.

Yeah. you know yourself, what with living near Glasgow what the craic is.

nice analogy with the walls.

thanks much for stopping by this write and throwing down your thoughts.

hope you are well.

You have taken a difficult subject and written a poem that every person should read before they try drugs that are addictive....interestingly the hardest drug to come off of...are cigarettes, liquor and prescription ones...not the illegals...I would make every child read this....
Drug addiction is not well taken care of in Canada and the USA...too few Rehab places and not addressing the reasons people get addicted in the first place....The rate of relapse is high once the person leaves the  rehab...because they go back into the same environment and probably because of the need for self-medication.....
You have done a good thing by writing this poem
Kitty

Kitten,
 
well, yeah you're right about the three top substance addictions. Though I reckon you'd have a hard time convincing a heroin addict of that when he/she's on their third day of cold turkey y'know.
 
Drug addiction is not well taken care of anywhere.
 
depending of where you live in the world 'treatment could consist of being given methadone/suboxone, getting beat with sticks for  
20 hours of the day or just plain getting shot.
 
ironically if you have loads of money you'll get the most comfortable treatment.
 
I am not in favor of long term methadone treatment  
I think it's a farce.
 
I think drug companies like Roche and others should be a bit more responsible along with doctors about what they give by way of prescription pills.
 
here the rate is as low as one in three at best will succeed after rehab and that's only after trying two or three times...clearly the system does not work.
 
It's only when 'somebody with a bit of power/money  
looses a son/daughter /wife etc to drugs that there are proposals put forward to improve the system.
 
thanks very much for stopping by and leaving your  
informed opinion.

yeah, I hear you Mr B

Well I think it's down to a state of mind thing with the methadone.

for instance if you are determined to kick it and go about doing the kicking you would have it a bit easier than if the methadone were just suddenly taken away. support is paramount. A good Councillor along with supporting family is a priceless asset.

Them numbers are a bit shitty right enough


Mr B, fair play for the successful kicking of everything , i wish you the best of luck in your furthered  cleanliness.

Thanks for stopping by and throwing down your thoughts and some facts.

appreciated.

    
  

 

Eamon

A powerful and uniform write.

Some of my favourite lines:


'when you're trapped between a rock and a ugly place'

Very nostalgic and cinematic...  

'it'll always be dark when you enter a room..'

This is a very powerful image and works so well.

'that all to soon became your life's blood  
a symbiosis 'bout as cleansing as mud..'

This is just so perfect....    

I am not very sure about the usage of 'any'
before 'strands of hope'. Could it be either
'any strand' or simply 'strands of hope'.
Dense.

Love the last stanza. A curtailed brutality
is inherent here and it drives the nail hard.

The wordplay and selection of adjectives make
it special unlike the most one would come across.
Nearly a Biblical message- soaring on
the harsh truth of the addiction endgame.

Write on Big man.

Sumeet


 

sumeet.

pleasure as always to have you stopping by and leaving your thoughts.


I think 'any strand' might be a better fit there
fair play to you.


thanks for dropping by this little number and going through it.

shine on

the rhythm in this is very nice, specifically in:

'the near misses Judas kisses, false starts  
the endless line of heavy hearts  
left in a wake of calamitous notions,  
you'll agree again to take the potion that holds you  
in catatonic suspension'

i agree with SMH when she said this seems to be a difficult topic to write about, but you pulled it off with flying colors.

One tiny and hardly significant thing:
L5 'a ugly place' vs. 'an ugly place'

seriously, though. one of your best in my opinion. it just feels very natural and nicely skates the border of not too wordy and wordy.

Aglitch.

God bless your young eyes :)

Iv'e been through this a few times and missed that error.

"one of your best" would imply improvement and that's what I strive for so thanks for that.


That stanza you picked is probably my favorite for the reasons you said so I'm happy you quoted that one.

Thanks for the wonderful comment.
  

Before I joined DU I had read this piece and I wasn't sure if it was part of a forum discussion or a competition, but at that time I had considered it one of the best I had read in a community forum as far as addiction was concerned.  I'm glad you re-posted this as I will add it to my reading list as a future read.  Thanks!

Devlin.

You are far too kind

Thanks for dropping in and leaving your thoughts.

and indeed for the listing.

Very nice.. Go green :)

cheers Gigi

I go green when I can :)

I re-read this with the eyes of new knowledge, and it's better the second time around.

"then finally, after all the shady deals,    
the near misses Judas kisses, false starts    
the endless line of heavy hearts    
left in a wake of calamitous notions,    
you'll agree again to take the potion that holds you    
in catatonic suspension"

I'm not going to lie, i shuddered a little reading that stanza. Obviously i don't have the experiences with addiction that you do, but i have experienced other substances of addiction. And it may be one the biggest arseholes i've had to deal with in my life so far, but i'm thankful to it. And i'm thankful to yours too. For creating brutal, honest pieces such as this that capture - down to the bone - the reality of something that this 21st century drop out culture deems as 'cool'.

And that is the legacy of addictions such as this. Not to destroy, but to teach. They are our learning curves, not our stumbling blocks.... And this piece teaches so well.

My biggest thanks and kudos to you, sir, for writing it.

Miss Sub

Shuddered is good. what you say about the 21st century dropout culture is on the button.

I think the voice I was using here was aimed towards people of that culture.It amazes/shocks me sometimes
how flippant they can be towards an addiction.

It makes shit of us all, regardless of the substance.
some of us are lucky enough to escape it with some   sense of humanity left,others are not so lucky.

I think that those who do knuckle down and get out are ultimately more enlightened and better placed
to help/guide somebody through an addiction than some by the book and expensive Councillor.

In saying that it's not something i'd like to go through again ever. much like your own dealings I found it very testing.

Thank's a million for your in-depth insights  Miss-Sub. your comment has made me happy.  

I'm speechless :))

I am grateful for your speechlessness.

Thanks for reading and commenting.  

still in awe..

Thank youyouyou.

Look forward to you getting your voice back. :P

this captures the desolate nature of addiction so well..

so yeah if you think you want to be an addict    
sleep tight and don't forget to pack light;    
there's not much closet space in a cardboard box    
and less still in the gutter.    
   
   
been there and it isn't any thing to play with..as usual i'm in awe of your writing..wishing you peace Crim :)

Crims.

You are far too kind, I thank you for the peaceful wishes and return wishes of happiness.

We are too few, us survivors.  

Thought provoking write, would make one thing twice...... Excellent pen.

 Magdalena,

Thank you, well if this write makes anybody think twice about getting into the world of addiction
i'll be happy.

there is no glory in being a addict. a very good poem. :]

Well first let me say 'welcome to DU '


and thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts on this poem.

yeah you are right there is no glory in addiction.

Your poem is a well written point of view about addiction.I too was addicted to heroin(and almost every other drug too)and it took about thirty years of my life.I've done many detox programs over the course of the thirty years.The  last detox program I participated in really works,but it's tough for just anyone to get in due to the types of insurance they accept.After you detox there's group therapy twice per month as well as suboxone treatment.They run a pretty tight ship over there so they'll toss you out if you don't follow their guidelines.And they don't take excuses as an answer either so many get tossed out.I was fortunate enough to find them when the program was fairly new and they took my insurance but many others can not get in due to their insurance.They worked with me so I could stay in the program when my insurance tried to cut me off.They filed loads of paper work over the course of a month to my insurance company and I'm set with them til the end of this year.Then I have to(or they have to)do all the paperwork for me again every 8 months or so.Yeah,proper help for addiction is extremely hard to find but just keep trying hard and eventually you will find a program.As I said...it took me several tries over the years but I must of went to the wrong detox programs.What I really want to say is to any addicts who may be reading this...please don't get discouraged if you decide to look for a program....They all don't work the same,so some aren't as effective as mine or others like it but you just have to keep trying.Never give up hope...I should of been dead many times(woke up in hospital three times from an od)But those days are far gone now and just a fuzzy memory.I'm living proof that anyone can beat addiction with the right help.I write a lot about addiction myself but nowhere near as elegant as you do,lepperochan.I envy your gift of writing.  

M.Maresco

well,thanks for your in-depth input man.

yeah ok,you know different programs work for different people.It's a matter of perseverance and actually wanting the result for the right reasons.I've been on the wrong side of reasons and on the right side, the right side works.

no suboxone for me though as it wasn't available  so cold turkey off the methadone and sleeping pills.


fair play to you man, thirty years is a long time to be addicted to drugs and then get clean.

shine on

 

Thank you lepperochan. I've tried the methadone clinics too but the way they are run here you might as well stay an addict.

Hullo

welcome to here and thanks much for dropping by and leaving your footprints. much appreciated