New Love

Diary Entry

July 26, 2023

The deepest love I’ve known was from my college professor that began in April or 2022. All other loves before and since have been cheap imitations of love until now. My new love is deeper somehow. His name is Shane. He talks of the future as if tomorrow is a reality for us. Even though he’s four years younger than me, he’s more mature and grounded.

My obsession with him is surprising to me. In the past, I’ve been able to compartmentalize relationships. When I wasn’t with the “one I loved,” I could love another as if they were interchangeable. I could easily drift from one lover to another. Not so with Shane. When I’m not with him, I’m imagining being with him. When he’s not there to touch me, I touch myself while thinking only of him.

Tonight, Shane is working and so I am at my apartment writing and thinking of him. I was reminded of a poem about a time with my professor when my mother eavesdropped on our love-making. I think mother would draw great pleasure from knowing how much Shane and I love each other.