(title at the bottom)

i am not one to share how i'm doing
   i'd rather be swallowed whole than be the one losing
      though in the end that's what ends up happening anyway
you lose the light you had and go on bruising
    each dream you had dies and begins fusing
with nightmares that seem all too real and have names you wouldnt feel
    not until they've strangled your happiness with muted fallacies

begging you to take one more sip of that liquor
    screaming at you that no one gives another sinner
   a chance to redeem your self and maybe that true
cause what redemption can i afford that i didnt lose
       what second chances wasnt i given that i didnt spew
 
    in alleyways, gutters, lawns, and porches
  in insanity driven pain mating by the vanity
that i was not only different but more special than the rest
       that i alone held the key that opened this undisputed chest
that somehow i was the one to figure out that Life was not a mess
     that only i could see the world and all its sense
that only i would be the one to save it and finally be put to rest

now.......
    
      now.......

now i juggle depression and anxiety like two best friends
     flirting back and forth with suicide that hasnt gotten less
   debating with trauma that i need to get some sleep and stress
  wringing out anger that i can quite get it off my chest
fighting all these demons that i need to bring to bed
      breathing in that smoke that makes my lungs feel blessed

but still these thoughts of saving the world cross my mind
    still i cant help but think that i must find
  the answer that only i can muster
find a strength that isnt lackluster
       beat some sense into those that arent there yet
   poeticize the schisms that will give birth and cleanse
   find the rhythm of our age and lend it all my fate
     grab unto Life and finally learn how to let go of my rage
  place my bets on winning

-and finally finish this page