deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fake
Sat down on the Conner of my roof, grey day,
My mentum resting on the palm of my hands,
Thinker position, mind floating, loneliness,
ok And then I saw her, running out for happiness,
Going against the breezy day, the air, pushing
Her hair back toward the saddest place.
Me, wishing to be a dog, so I never went
There, long skirt down her knee, keeping
Her gallop toward fake. To feed its need.
Five days in a roll, the skirt was no longer
Long, getting short and short, love blind you
And make you dull. Mondays came,
I sat down On my balcony look at the educate place,
Waited for her, to come out of the school,
Long skirt, covered with a black long coat,
Red scarf, golden hair, walking slowly, dark-gray day
I ran up to the roof, sat down on it, hugging both of my knew,
Head down.
Standing up after a while, bird flying everywhere,
sun going down for a break. For a second just for second
she was gone.
Until I saw her again,
Stop and turned around,
turned her neck, sad view
Toward me, like she knew I was there,
blurred view, We both shared it,
4 seconds and then she left, never saw
Fake, but never will recover what he took from her.
Went down the school for the first time in 3 years,
After 4 days without seeing her, She changed location,
Went to a monastery school. Never knew her, never will
But I wish I could give her back, what she lost
innocence.
Sena
My mentum resting on the palm of my hands,
Thinker position, mind floating, loneliness,
ok And then I saw her, running out for happiness,
Going against the breezy day, the air, pushing
Her hair back toward the saddest place.
Me, wishing to be a dog, so I never went
There, long skirt down her knee, keeping
Her gallop toward fake. To feed its need.
Five days in a roll, the skirt was no longer
Long, getting short and short, love blind you
And make you dull. Mondays came,
I sat down On my balcony look at the educate place,
Waited for her, to come out of the school,
Long skirt, covered with a black long coat,
Red scarf, golden hair, walking slowly, dark-gray day
I ran up to the roof, sat down on it, hugging both of my knew,
Head down.
Standing up after a while, bird flying everywhere,
sun going down for a break. For a second just for second
she was gone.
Until I saw her again,
Stop and turned around,
turned her neck, sad view
Toward me, like she knew I was there,
blurred view, We both shared it,
4 seconds and then she left, never saw
Fake, but never will recover what he took from her.
Went down the school for the first time in 3 years,
After 4 days without seeing her, She changed location,
Went to a monastery school. Never knew her, never will
But I wish I could give her back, what she lost
innocence.
Sena
Published 14th Apr 2012
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14th Apr 2012 8:09pm
Whilst there's a few grammatical errors laced in to this, in terms of plurals and other little hiccups, its wonderfully written.
The way you dance around someone looking out and someone reflecting on within without warning is stunning. When 'dark grey day' creeps in during the fourth stanza, you had me right there.
Most of the time, and this is rare, I enjoy the stunted way it is written. I'm not sure if its deliberate, but the errors (if they are errors) make for a very interesting and jutting read.
The last line, the most important, is set up beautifully, and closes the poem off leaving the reader (or at least this one) not thinking 'what would I have written that would have sounded better,' but instead, with a little grin and a very well done.
The way you dance around someone looking out and someone reflecting on within without warning is stunning. When 'dark grey day' creeps in during the fourth stanza, you had me right there.
Most of the time, and this is rare, I enjoy the stunted way it is written. I'm not sure if its deliberate, but the errors (if they are errors) make for a very interesting and jutting read.
The last line, the most important, is set up beautifully, and closes the poem off leaving the reader (or at least this one) not thinking 'what would I have written that would have sounded better,' but instead, with a little grin and a very well done.
15th Apr 2012 00:08am
Tnahx, i always like poem wish u could read this in spanish. Habe moré meaning in it. Thanx
