Not good enough

I can be so stone cold
I can take every thing you hold
I  can rip you apart
breaking your simple heart
but not when I'm the victim
not when I love him
but because I'm not a saint
this picture is unclear and faint
he doesn't care
even when I try so hard to be there
he walks away.
i come in last for his heart
maybe this is all my fault
I deserve pain
if there is a god this is what he showed
because from day 1 this is all I've been taught.
Love is only there if you work for it?
Maybe thats not even good enough.  
To have love is to have luck.
I have none.
So where's my hope?