Everything Is Not Alright

I Been Gone So I Couldn't Even Write...
Things In My Life At This Moment Aren't Right...
I Won't Lie And Say Everything Is Alright...
Cause It The Complete Opposite...
Making It Hard To Stay On Top Of Shit...
Things Making It Seem Harder Then An Apocalypse...
Wish I Could Take Off In A Rocket Ship...
Or Live On A Satellite...
Seems Far Fetched But That's Alright...
Everyday We Live We Got To Fight...
To Survive...
To Make That Stride...
Take Life On A Ride...
But The Last Few Months It Seems Hard To Do...
With All This Shit I Been Going Through...
Every Time I Would Try And Write I Hit A Block...
Made It Feel Like Someone Punch My Clock..
Time Just Comes To A Stand Still...
Feels Like Something Sucked Every Last Ounce Of Will..
That Made Me Want To Continue This Fight...
To See Another Day Of Sunlight...
But Why When Everyday Is Dark Like Night...
Its Like I'm Stuck In A Tunnel With No Way Out...
Just Filling My Mind With More Doubt...
So I Sit Wondering Is This What Life Is About...
Is This How God Panned Out My Life...
Looking Back On Life Thinking Twice...
Wondering Why Shit Never Plays Out The Way Its Planned...
Why Was I Dealt This Hand...
My Family Always Told Me Play The Hand I Was Dealt..
But They Wouldn't Say That If They Feel What I Felt...
I Was Also Told God Gives You Obstacles Throughout Life...
Where You Have To Make Choices And Sacrifice...
But It Seems Like For The Last 21 Years That All I Did...
Where Was My Chance To Be A Kid..
I Will Never Get The Answer To That Question...
Or To Why I Feel Like I Fighting A Bad Infection..
Or The Feeling Behind Rejection...
But I Won't Declare My Return To The Game...
Cause Its Always The Same..
I Say I'm Back...
Then My Career Fades To Black...
So Here Is For The People Who Wonder Were I Was...
Hope This Explains But I Think It Does...