deepundergroundpoetry.com
First Kiss
First Kiss
Madhouse Mon Cheri
Off the hip cackle
“This is where rich folks go crazy”
Staff shocked
By her brassy voodoo spell
First trembling bird peck
On Creole lips designed
For madhouse paradise
A touch of Hatter’s petal blues
Hinted in her hazel eyes
Torn from the Virgin ligaments
Of an Achille’s dream
In my fragmented mind
A late Bar Mitzvah
She succored me
In penciled lip balm
That sketched my heart
In pastel remedies for solitude
Madhouse Mon Cheri
Off the hip cackle
“This is where rich folks go crazy”
Staff shocked
By her brassy voodoo spell
First trembling bird peck
On Creole lips designed
For madhouse paradise
A touch of Hatter’s petal blues
Hinted in her hazel eyes
Torn from the Virgin ligaments
Of an Achille’s dream
In my fragmented mind
A late Bar Mitzvah
She succored me
In penciled lip balm
That sketched my heart
In pastel remedies for solitude
Published 17th Apr 2023
| Edited 18th Apr 2023
Author's Note
She and I were sitting across from each other at a table. I think she asked me if I loved her. I said, "Always my love." And we spontaneously stood up and kissed each other. The staff discouraged physical contact between patients but let this one go.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 11
reads 333
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
17th Apr 2023 11:09pm
Actually, this was my first kiss that occurred in a mental hospital. A fairly innocent kiss at that. She described it as a "cousin" kiss. Not sure where you got that my friend.
John
John
18th Apr 2023 00:15am
hello John it's pain pure and simple....here's to your poems .... the weight the band and hotel california where it is going down for greed's sake.
18th Apr 2023 00:20am
Apologies for any pain I have caused you, my friend. Thank you for explaining better. No hard feelings. Thank you for reading me.
John
John
18th Apr 2023 00:33am
It took courage to say what you did my friend. I admire that about you.
John
John
18th Apr 2023 1:57am
OK, with the comment context, this was stunning. As a first kiss story, it had that fluttering feel, but there was something undulating in the background, and now I see it.
Great work, GM. This had a delicacy to it that belayed the madness in the backrgound. The details wrapped in metaphor were lovely.
Great work, GM. This had a delicacy to it that belayed the madness in the backrgound. The details wrapped in metaphor were lovely.
18th Apr 2023 2:02am
Betty, thank you from my heart. I remember how the kiss was born. She and I were sitting across from each other at a table. I think she asked me if I loved her. I said, "always my love." And we spontaneously stood up and kissed each other. The staff discouraged physical contact between patients but let this one go.
John
John
18th Apr 2023 2:52am
You have done better carving in beautiful words. I like your writing. Well played!
18th Apr 2023 3:06am
Thanks so much, Dimpy! Love how you phrased what I do as "carving in beautiful words." That is what I aspire to do. :)
John
John
Anonymous
- Edited 1st Nov 2024 6:45pm
18th Apr 2023 5:15am
<< post removed >>
18th Apr 2023 5:30am
Deep thanks to you Brandy. Indeed this was my first taste of romance that will stay forever in my heart. I appreciate your saying: "She colored inside the lines and stayed on the same page- -
That's so romantic. " and that my thoughts are beautiful, especially coming from someone with thoughts as beautiful as yours.
John
That's so romantic. " and that my thoughts are beautiful, especially coming from someone with thoughts as beautiful as yours.
John
