deepundergroundpoetry.com
SAVIOR
jesus
was my bright
light
made holy
in my young mind
by whip and nail,
thorn and blood --
my rebel god, cast out,
betrayed and broken,
and it didn't matter
if he was made
of flesh or ether
but that he
hung in effigy
behind that alter,
humbled,
forsaken,
abandoned
same as what i felt
and that he promised
to set me free
and so i loved him
even when
my heart
knew better
(59 unique words)
was my bright
light
made holy
in my young mind
by whip and nail,
thorn and blood --
my rebel god, cast out,
betrayed and broken,
and it didn't matter
if he was made
of flesh or ether
but that he
hung in effigy
behind that alter,
humbled,
forsaken,
abandoned
same as what i felt
and that he promised
to set me free
and so i loved him
even when
my heart
knew better
(59 unique words)
Published 11th Apr 2023
Author's Note
#11 of 30 -- Inspired by the God's Character comp.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 162
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
12th Apr 2023 2:20am
Maybe Jesus got it, I'm just not sure we understood. Anyway, nice write with a good twisty end. I like it.
❤️k
❤️k
Thanks so much for reading, K.
I am not a christian, but grew up very catholic, so my relationship with the trappings of the church has been a complicated one. I was trying to express some of that in this poem but think, as is my way, I fell a little short. Mention Jesus in the first line of a poem and people are bound to assume. The name is provocative in many ways.
Anyway, again thanks for reading, and I'm glad the poem inspired you.
I feel like I'm foundering and cannot wait for May.
J.
I am not a christian, but grew up very catholic, so my relationship with the trappings of the church has been a complicated one. I was trying to express some of that in this poem but think, as is my way, I fell a little short. Mention Jesus in the first line of a poem and people are bound to assume. The name is provocative in many ways.
Anyway, again thanks for reading, and I'm glad the poem inspired you.
I feel like I'm foundering and cannot wait for May.
J.
15th Apr 2023 4:48pm
I don't think anything fell short in this poem. The details are yours alone to understand, but I can sense some ambivalence... religion is messy indeed, I'm glad I wasn't exposed to much of it as a kid.
Also looking forward to May. I'm struggling to come up with anything meaningful to write about...
❤️k
Also looking forward to May. I'm struggling to come up with anything meaningful to write about...
❤️k
