The Second Coming of George Santos

The first time he ran
He was too humble by half.
He could have boasted  
Of his GED and certificates
Of participation
But didn’t for obvious reasons.
Just a humble kid
From the wrong side of the truth tracks.
 
The story he must have fantasized
As he licked his wounded psyche
After that first attempt
Was bizarre but nothing compared
To Jim Jordan’s blind eye  
Re the sexual assaults in the showers,
MTG’s Jew-ish space lasers,
Gosar’s assault on AOC,
Boebert’s hubby with his
Wanna-see-my-dick.
And let’s not even mention
You know who.
 
Besides, what did all that
Aw shucks  just a babyfat wannabe
Get him that first campaign?
Lost by eight points.
Near landslide.
 
In his viagra dreams he could have
Been a volleyball star,
Could have been Jew-ish,
Could have been a financial wunderkind,
Could have, would have, should have
Been all those things
So why not do the self-help thing
And fake it till ya make it?
Give the voters his fantasy self,
The one they wanted?
 
It’s the American way,
The rags to riches
Via the book deals,
Movie rights,
Stick-it-to-the-libs
Tap dance, pirouette
For the rubes
Now you see me
Now you don’t.
Wink.
 
Not yet having been a volleyball star,
Financial wunderkind
Lizard wizard
Not yet Jewish nor Jew-ish,
The Holocaust something
Vaguely heard of but oh so distant.
Just a regular sort of guy
The one, as it turned out,
Who was forever chosen last.
The Prince of Pudge with those flabby
Thighs encased in fishnet hose
Now and then. Cute, even,
If you’re into that sort of thing.
 
So what he did was
He stepped into one of the last
Telephone booths in the city
And shucked off that Clark Kent schtick
And became a kind of Dark Marvel Republican
Superhero sans cape  
Faster than a speeding loco motive,
Emphasis on loco.
And won, of course.
Why not?
 
So what if this bumbling
Soft, feckless fool
Could not distinguish
Shite from Shinola
Thrift from grift?
 
And so what if Kevin McCarthy
And Jim Jordan
And Boebert, MTG,
Gosar the disgruntled,
Marjorie, the Bitch of Kookenwald,
So what if all of them were to
Look deeply into the mirror
Called George Santos
And see variations of themselves  
All wrapped up in sheep’s clothing
Of relevance,
Whose lies are dark disturbances
Troubling the waters.
Can we not all be superheroes
If we but craft outrageous resumes?
 
Already he has a Wikipedia page.
I don’t . Do you?
 
 
13 Jan 2023 edited 8 April 2023