deepundergroundpoetry.com
Untitled III
In dreams you appear
ultra-violet: a stunning representation
of how I remember you.
Magnetic eyes piercing the darkness
that walled me in: my shadows
you were acquainted with.
We walked backwards, watching
time race past: arms locked,
foreheads pressed together,
the world blurring around us.
You, my would-be lover, and
I, your flowers in hell.
So many burning stars later,
it’s apparent our demons still
play well together—
That was always the thrill.
ultra-violet: a stunning representation
of how I remember you.
Magnetic eyes piercing the darkness
that walled me in: my shadows
you were acquainted with.
We walked backwards, watching
time race past: arms locked,
foreheads pressed together,
the world blurring around us.
You, my would-be lover, and
I, your flowers in hell.
So many burning stars later,
it’s apparent our demons still
play well together—
That was always the thrill.
Published 4th Apr 2023
Author's Note
3/30
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 0
comments 12
reads 266
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
4th Apr 2023 00:24am
<< post removed >>
4th Apr 2023 1:19am
Thank you for a very detailed and lovely comment about my poem. Apparently I layer my poetry, which is sort of a new concept that I am attempting to catch when I write (currently to no avail, but I’m not a quitter).
Sometimes we miss out on something in life for walking separate paths. It’s a bit of sweetness (that drop of honey at the corner of the mouth) when reconnecting, but in a new and different way. It’s nice, but also wistful.
I am happy to know that this piece was enjoyed. Thank you for coming by my dusty corner.
Sometimes we miss out on something in life for walking separate paths. It’s a bit of sweetness (that drop of honey at the corner of the mouth) when reconnecting, but in a new and different way. It’s nice, but also wistful.
I am happy to know that this piece was enjoyed. Thank you for coming by my dusty corner.
Anonymous
4th Apr 2023 1:23am
<< post removed >>
5th Apr 2023 5:54pm
This comment comes up as likely having been generated by a chat bot, such as ChatGPT. There is a forum discussion about this where there is also a link to a website that analyzes content and gives a percentage likelihood that it was chat bot generated. Here is a link to the forum discussion,
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/561259/gotopost/
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/561259/gotopost/
5th Apr 2023 9:33pm
Damn. If that’s the case, this particular bot is blowin’ it up on DU. Alrhough, do chat bots write and submit poetry? I’m not super hip to this sort of thing.
4th Apr 2023 4:50am
Dear E,
As per you define that moment of reconnecting with great precision and this has me thinking of someone long ago…I really enjoyed this piece. H🌷
As per you define that moment of reconnecting with great precision and this has me thinking of someone long ago…I really enjoyed this piece. H🌷
8th Apr 2023 00:42am
Ooo I'm really happy that you enjoyed this! I also hope that the long ago thing was a happy thing.
4th Apr 2023 11:02am
I love the connection between the two people in the poem. It has a haunting yet fun feeling to it.
LJ
LJ
8th Apr 2023 00:43am
I love the connection as well. It's different now that we are older, but it's there. Time and distance didn't destroy it.
5th Apr 2023 3:40am
The seems to be a factual piece. There is always someone or thing in our past that is sort of an anchor, we are eternally tethered to them forever creating and recreating memories. Tight
8th Apr 2023 00:45am
9th May 2023 2:36pm
“So many burning stars later” it’s a classic way of saying how vast and deep this emotion is. Truly a wonderful spill
