deepundergroundpoetry.com
Subspace
offering her bloom ready
in my palms,
breathing in hesitation
spider lashes
flickering
on every petal
plucked,
slowly waiting
for my mouth
to reach
her blushing
bud.
Published 13th Mar 2023
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 591
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
14th Mar 2023 3:17am
Holy shit that was amazing.
The image of the sensual… flower in your hands, waiting for your mouth is hot as hell. The slow burn of the journey was visceral and deliciously done
16th Mar 2023 2:18am
15th Apr 2023 4:33am
Well hell. You're good at this whole creative writing stuff.
This is an impressive first write.
Welcome to DUP. Glad to have your talents here.
This is an impressive first write.
Welcome to DUP. Glad to have your talents here.
17th Apr 2023 00:50am
Hello Styxian
Pleased to make your acquaintance, i'm happy to hear this poem was impressive for a first write, thank you for the warm welcome and for reading my work.
-A
Pleased to make your acquaintance, i'm happy to hear this poem was impressive for a first write, thank you for the warm welcome and for reading my work.
-A
16th Apr 2023 2:02pm
This is one stunning 'maiden voyage' into our poetic waters ... Needless to say, you've completely captured my attention... This was all that the brevity of sensuality so eloquently should be.
I look forward to reading more.
Welcome to DUP
🌹B
I look forward to reading more.
Welcome to DUP
🌹B
17th Apr 2023 00:57am
Hello Bluevelvete
Pleased to make your acquaintance as mentioned to the gentleman above, i'm happy it captured your attention and the words came across sensual rather than sloppy, i'm still navigating how to use this website but I think i'm slowly getting there, thank you for following and for reading my work.
-A
Pleased to make your acquaintance as mentioned to the gentleman above, i'm happy it captured your attention and the words came across sensual rather than sloppy, i'm still navigating how to use this website but I think i'm slowly getting there, thank you for following and for reading my work.
-A
17th Apr 2023 10:04pm
After my 1st pass reading, I thought I had an idea what the poem was about. Many of the other commenters have the similar thoughts. However, your key words #dark, #gothic and your title has me second guessing.
It is a sensual piece highlighting the anticipation and hesitation.
It is a sensual piece highlighting the anticipation and hesitation.
17th Apr 2023 10:09pm
After my 1st pass reading, I thought I had an idea what the poem was about. Many of the other commenters have the similar thoughts. However, your key words #dark, #gothic and your title has me second guessing.
But then it clicked, it is a sensual piece highlighting the anticipation and hesitation. The subspace and dark being her submitting via physical or emotional bondage to allow your unimpeded flower exploring.
But then it clicked, it is a sensual piece highlighting the anticipation and hesitation. The subspace and dark being her submitting via physical or emotional bondage to allow your unimpeded flower exploring.
2nd Jun 2024 5:24am
Sometimes I go to the first poem posted, because they are often overlooked. And what a surprise this was. I love the many references to a flower (bloom, petal, bud) and the way you captivate the reader on this little journey.
It amazes me how much you are able to convey with little words, that's a rare talent 💕
It amazes me how much you are able to convey with little words, that's a rare talent 💕
