deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dolorosa
aging
is grieving a thousand
small losses;
waking up to
silver hairs, a
handful at a time
or insult making love
to injury - your loss of
desire for the wild
and passionate;
it haunts you, a hungry hound
but hell, you’re tired,
and peace sounds
mighty fine
right about now
each small loss
still hurts
in a way
you can’t define;
its edges dull and
aching, longing -
it creeps in whenever
you have the guts
to sit still in the quiet
of kids moved out
and the world moved on
peace be still
and all that jazz;
I’m learning
growing
reaching ahead
instead of behind me,
maybe for the first time;
I don’t know what I’ll find
out there
but there’s at least
a chance
that there’s better
in the unknown
than there was
in the path that bought me
to this place of trying
my damnedest to heal,
while pretending
I’m just fine
and only the usual
amount of crazy
it still blows my mind
how I see my mother
in each of these milestones;
and I remember her denial,
all the running from
the inevitable loss of youth,
how she railed against
the rolling tides of time
how it didn’t make
an ounce of difference
in the end
but this is not the end,
not for me
not yet
and so I wake gently,
putting the moon to bed
trying my best
to be thankful for
another day;
I screw up the courage
to sit with the quiet,
letting the voices gather
around my shoulders
and whisper-sing
their mourning in my ears -
I close my eyes and share
their grief, for just a moment
and then I sing a song of my own -
of birds and flight
and freedom
is grieving a thousand
small losses;
waking up to
silver hairs, a
handful at a time
or insult making love
to injury - your loss of
desire for the wild
and passionate;
it haunts you, a hungry hound
but hell, you’re tired,
and peace sounds
mighty fine
right about now
each small loss
still hurts
in a way
you can’t define;
its edges dull and
aching, longing -
it creeps in whenever
you have the guts
to sit still in the quiet
of kids moved out
and the world moved on
peace be still
and all that jazz;
I’m learning
growing
reaching ahead
instead of behind me,
maybe for the first time;
I don’t know what I’ll find
out there
but there’s at least
a chance
that there’s better
in the unknown
than there was
in the path that bought me
to this place of trying
my damnedest to heal,
while pretending
I’m just fine
and only the usual
amount of crazy
it still blows my mind
how I see my mother
in each of these milestones;
and I remember her denial,
all the running from
the inevitable loss of youth,
how she railed against
the rolling tides of time
how it didn’t make
an ounce of difference
in the end
but this is not the end,
not for me
not yet
and so I wake gently,
putting the moon to bed
trying my best
to be thankful for
another day;
I screw up the courage
to sit with the quiet,
letting the voices gather
around my shoulders
and whisper-sing
their mourning in my ears -
I close my eyes and share
their grief, for just a moment
and then I sing a song of my own -
of birds and flight
and freedom
Published 12th Mar 2023
| Edited 13th Mar 2023
Author's Note
A random journal entry. I’m hoping to add a spoken word accompaniment next week.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 7
comments 16
reads 202
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
12th Mar 2023 4:29am
Dear L,
Oh my god! A spot on assessment of aging that is so touching and real. Each verse a testament to another milestone that reminds me how fleeting life is/was. Some things I do I swore I would never because that’s what my mother did. 😏 jokes on me.
I look forward to the spoken word accompaniment and congratulate the beauty of the written version. H🌷
Oh my god! A spot on assessment of aging that is so touching and real. Each verse a testament to another milestone that reminds me how fleeting life is/was. Some things I do I swore I would never because that’s what my mother did. 😏 jokes on me.
I look forward to the spoken word accompaniment and congratulate the beauty of the written version. H🌷
13th Mar 2023 12:54pm
Thank you so much, Honoria. I’m so happy you found resonance in my words 💖
12th Mar 2023 3:35pm
Outstanding. Not a stumble in any stanza.
Let's go buy a couple of plants. Stick them in your yard. Not flowering ones. Those disappoint at the worst times. Just greenery. Fat ones. They can help fill some dull areas, as we think about blah stuff. Like getting older.
You ain't too old, Luna. You rocked this write. It has the angst of a (still) youth looking ahead.
Let's go buy a couple of plants. Stick them in your yard. Not flowering ones. Those disappoint at the worst times. Just greenery. Fat ones. They can help fill some dull areas, as we think about blah stuff. Like getting older.
You ain't too old, Luna. You rocked this write. It has the angst of a (still) youth looking ahead.
13th Mar 2023 12:57pm
I have plants on my shopping list. Funny how when we get older we suddenly need more plants. There lies a connection between caring for them and caring for ourselves, and perhaps we begin to appreciate little grace all around. Thank you so much for your kind words!
12th Mar 2023 6:25pm
Well said and truly resonant. I'm looking forward to that spoken word.
13th Mar 2023 12:57pm
14th Mar 2023 4:22am
16th Mar 2023 10:13am
Anonymous
- Edited 17th Jan 2024 00:45am
14th Mar 2023 3:14pm
<< post removed >>
16th Mar 2023 10:14am
Growing old isn’t for the faint of heart, to be sure. Thank you so much for reading!
Anonymous
15th Mar 2023 6:18pm
Aging is the only journey we can't escape. In the words of the drunk poetic genius, Dylan Thomas, "rage against the dying of the light." This is a sumptuous and beautifully present write LG. Rob
16th Mar 2023 10:14am
You brought something very special near and dear to many here (no rhymes intended). The emotion in your voice adds so much weight to the words. DUP is having a glitch I think for reading lists, but this is one of those we can come back to over and over to have a read and listen.
Amazing work.
Amazing work.
19th Mar 2023 8:50pm
24th Mar 2023 2:32pm
What a beautiful piece of shared thoughts and feelings. Your reading of it was outstanding.
LJ
LJ
24th Mar 2023 2:35pm
