I'm Just A Ghost

Sitting in the corner
Watching you with her
Tears welling up
Never falling out
Floating in the air instead
Around my see thru head
I should have treated you better
Should have had love life a feather
Should have felt every emotion
Instead of going thru the motions
Should have given myself pain
To just feel anything
Instead I numbed my body
Calcified my brain
Until it felt nothing
Not even in the rain
So I sit in the corner
Watching you and her
Longing to feel numb again
Instead feeling everything
No meds going in
Only sorrow falling out
No place for it to land
Soaks back into my outstretched hand
Recycled madness triplefold
A ghost trapped in endless cold
Wishing wishes even worked
But knowing each one is sold
To pay the price of my mistakes
As if each one was made of gold