Eric

 
 
hurt rises from within
painful memories, some cherished
the day you were born, you were so exotic to me
born of Hispanic descent  
I loved you so much
but I was only seventeen
and not mature enough to be your mom
 
you learned reckless behavior from me
as an adult you I were friends
but when you drank we bumped heads
I know you had a right to be angry
I wasn't a good mom
it's the most painful truth about me
 
now you're thirty five
and when I talk to you  
you don't know me anymore
your mind is affected
I feel like I already lost you
my beautiful son
 
I thought we would have more time
it's hurting me watching you fade
death isn't always dignified
sometimes it rips your heart out