Turbine

I want to be lost to you
Cut off, far from view
I need to sever with you as my surgeon

To survive I learned to dislocate,
I need to get away-
Amputate myself from this numb situation

I am crying now
Because I don't know how
Or why I allow you to get this far

No it's not your fault,
Yes I know you called
But I cannot permit you to be mine

Sometimes I need to disembowel,
What you perceive as profound
Cuts me deep like a turbine.