deepundergroundpoetry.com
You loved me
I love you
You love me
We're as happy as can be
Until you went and found someone new
Why cant you stay and love me too?
I love you
You loved me
We're not what we used to be
Then you went and found someone new
Why cant you stay and love me too?
I love you
You loved me
We were gonna make room for three
But then you went and found someone new
I can't say your son loves you too.
I love you
You loved me
We're a broken family
No father around to raise our kid
If I didnt do it, then what did?
You love me
We're as happy as can be
Until you went and found someone new
Why cant you stay and love me too?
I love you
You loved me
We're not what we used to be
Then you went and found someone new
Why cant you stay and love me too?
I love you
You loved me
We were gonna make room for three
But then you went and found someone new
I can't say your son loves you too.
I love you
You loved me
We're a broken family
No father around to raise our kid
If I didnt do it, then what did?
Published 5th Apr 2012
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likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 14
reads 809
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The author encourages honest critique.
5th Apr 2012 2:37am
no matter what it must go on
especially when the hard times have begun
its a shame when men wont raise their sons
but mamas can do it....so many times it has been done
& maybe the world can learn something from
these powerful words addressing the scum....
especially when the hard times have begun
its a shame when men wont raise their sons
but mamas can do it....so many times it has been done
& maybe the world can learn something from
these powerful words addressing the scum....
5th Apr 2012 6:57pm
5th Apr 2012 2:44am
Really good poem I like how you just let the emotion flow out of you that makes a really good poet... Keep up the pod work :)
5th Apr 2012 6:57pm
5th Apr 2012 2:48am
This is so different than most of what I read usually.. But I definitely like it!
5th Apr 2012 6:58pm
5th Apr 2012 4:51am
As you know I'm the opposite to that kind of abandonement , I know though what you mean and I enjoyed your poem sarah :)
5th Apr 2012 6:59pm
yep, clever write.
I think that if you wrote this with that Barney tune in mind you should separate the stanza's.
maybe change 3 for three as having 3 kind of sticks out, in terms of meter it will still be the same.
Entirely decent write, I like the four stages that the four stanzas depict and note the willingness in the narrators words to be 'the other woman'
fair play and shine on!
I think that if you wrote this with that Barney tune in mind you should separate the stanza's.
maybe change 3 for three as having 3 kind of sticks out, in terms of meter it will still be the same.
Entirely decent write, I like the four stages that the four stanzas depict and note the willingness in the narrators words to be 'the other woman'
fair play and shine on!
5th Apr 2012 7:38pm
alright, changes made. thanks, and sorry for getting it stuck in your head, lol. thanks for helping!
6th Apr 2012 11:08am
6th Apr 2012 1:07pm
7th Apr 2012 1:02am
Unhappyness finds us all sometimes in our short lives.
THIS POEM IS great you have a way with words
THIS POEM IS great you have a way with words
7th Apr 2012 2:43am
