Cognitive Dissonance

We honed our skills whilst scribing oceanic love notes upon one another’s flesh so we could find our way back to one another when the others aren’t capable of triggering an avalanche of little deaths, and he kills me softly yet borderline violently, and the nexus of pain and pleasuring drives me into a state of organised chaos and the delirium makes me forget that he’s bound to another.

Yet my heart is anchored to the way he drills me hard & deep, and some days, that’s the only way to pierce my whole being until I’m trembling and quivering, gripping the length & width of his impending orgasmic bliss as we both watch the way he penetrates me as if there was a holiness to baring witness to such until he leaves me gaping, and aching for more.

Once, is never enough, and for a moment we’re lost in the cognitive dissonance that emerges when he tells me that he cares, and I glimpsed his love in the way his hand Rand the length of my spine, and landed in the arch of my lower back and things never seem to go well when I convince him to hurt me so good until I’m sore, swollen & pulsating.

It’s his free pass to violating me in ways his wife just can’t fathom, and my days of wifing & raising a man’s children is done, and when we’re done, I’ll bathe him and wash the remnants of his infidelity down the drown so he stays with her.

Deep down, I can’t be more than the whorish fucks I give when he gives it to me in ways that leaves me cascading like a waterfall as we analyse the roadmap that leads us to the garden bed that blossomed in spring.

I’m still the delicate flower that hides behind the words unspoken that are leashed, hidden behind the subtle shades of cherry pink pouty lips whilst begging him to shed his skin as he lashes me with his tongue and assaults my swollen bud with the entirety of his gorgeous mouth.

And, it’s the imagery of the last redtube clip that I watched to relieve myself that heightens my arousal, and there’s nothing gentle about the way we fuck whilst making love and he’s oblivious to the way my cunt reacts, and my heart is under arrest.

I keep telling myself that I love the way he fucks me, and not the ways in which he demonstrates his care by protecting me from what we know to be truth.