Then til now

Born in the troubles Dublin knows.
Cyprus, Greece and East Timorese.
Somali and Lebanon, claimed souls.
Yugoslavia and Chadian always no peace.

Few times UN send us into the sand box.
Convinced myself I was doing right.
Til I was looking at a kid oh this sucks.
Am I different than those that gave me blight.

Vomit oh God what the hell am I
Am I really this monster I just can't see.
Why won't you just let me die.
Why do you keep haunting me.

Drinking becomes my temperate release.
Only a moment of peace.
It won't be long calmness will cease.
I'm a monster amongst men I beg to be decease.

To the next set up kill.
Next target down.
Starts loosing grip and will.
Pistol to my head fire the round.

Riry takes it says don't play that game.
Drops cylinder falls to his knees.
Firing pin marks struck all the same.
Further torture God won't let me leave.

Back in the desert yet again.
Only this time my friends are old enemy.
My mind now filled with sin.
I remember yall you remember me.

Course you don't I was give more to remember
Felt the old world mid September.
Reality I'm burning up mid December.
Trying to decide let go or release my temper.

Made our way sweeping clear.
Few idiots dragging in rear.
Bomb ignites hard to hear.
Jump through flame skin seers.

Pull out what I can.
Now im laying here bad hurts but can it be.
God will you let go of this man.
Nope you'll see me live still not free.

Told I need time to go anywhere relax.
Friend said let's go my home colombia.
Beautiful place he spoke facts
Moment I saw her oh mi amoura.

I'd come every day just eat.
Same food, same waitress same seat.
She would laugh when I fumble my feet.
She said my eyes I look sweet.

She ask me to dance.
Lord I can't but I couldn't say no.
Two other ladies say me no chance
Can't you see She has my heart and soul.

Her dark Chocolate now flushed red.
She invites me to her home.
I'll never forget our first time in bed.
First time I dint feel alone.

Called back again can't say where or what.
But it really felt like a set up
Again saving those guys butts.
Only this Tim bullets have struck.

I turn ain't that some shit.
I just got killed by a Thirteen year old kid.
I took his gun flenche like I'd hit.
I'm not mad its what you had to did.

Start fainting while I feel myself dragged.
I'm lifted up am I being bagged.
Oh great even in death I'm stuck here.
Guy wakes me says you'll make it don't fear.

Wake skin grafts and bullet removal such fun.
Bad as I hurt I could only think of one.
She found me I was stunned little girl.
I asked her to marry I'd make them my world.

She said yes I was happy.
Now im having to report on what transpired
Bar pusher we should have left ya slappy.
Slammed him to the wall knive tip in his desireds

You will never speak my name again.
Or I'll remove the fruit of your sin.
So angry the room spin.
I was asked let hi. Go man.

I started fighting boxing and cage.
Seemed a way to comfort my rage.
I always came home shes all I knew.
In her womb a new baby grew.

Barely getting by I fight harder.
6 to 7 a night I wasn't smarter.
But it gathered quick cash I'd send all.
I'd be home she pray I wouldn't answer the call.

Mentally I'm fucked up still battle my beast.
Physically covered in my tortures gleeze
Alcohol not working drink more get less
Then I got told I had a cancerous diseases

I didn't know but money I sent home she remade
Made shops she knows how to save.
Now she's begging me to just stay home.
She will make my demons leave me alone.

I maybe the king of the castle.
You now know why she sits the throne.