Defeat

It needs to end, but where was the beginning?
Feet firmly on the ground, but my head’s still spinning
The feeling is there, but I don’t know what to feel
Tell me what is fantasy, and what is real

Walking tall, but barely walking
Talking smack, but barely talking
Listening intently, but I really don’t care
So violent, so morbid, but I continue to stare

Stronger than steel, but you’re rusting
Beauty divine, but you’re aging and crusting
So bright and hopeful, yet dark as the night
So weak and feeble, yet you want to fight

You take the punishment, and it feels so good
You can’t take it back, but you wish you could
So many people around you, but you feel so alone
Your heart still beats, but it’s made of stone

As furious as a storm, but somehow at peace
An addiction so deadly, but so hard to cease
This seems like a dream, but its reality
You’ll live forever, yet you question your mortality

God hates me deeply, but I still believe
I haven’t lost much, but I’m utterly bereaved
I look sane, but I’ve lost my mind
I say I can make it, but don’t leave me behind

On the straight and narrow, but careening out of control
So full of life, but so comfortable in this hole
So somber, so dead, yet not a single tear
So ready to live, but it’s what I truly fear

It keeps on going, but it has to stop
The spirits have lifted, but they’re ready to drop
Sounds the same, but something’s different
So put off and prolonged, yet it’ll end in an instant

I need to go, but I want to stay
I want to burn out, yet I’m fading away
I’ll retrace my steps, even though I’ve treaded lightly
I’ll tell the truth, even though it’s bent slightly

Finally, we stop, but I never knew it started
Full of love, but still half-hearted
So sour and bitter, but such a treat
I realize I lost, but I just can’t accept defeat