deepundergroundpoetry.com
It Wasn't Fast
It was a slow burn,
Not a showy, flashy end.
We just slowly starved.
Not a showy, flashy end.
We just slowly starved.
Published 18th Oct 2022
Author's Note
For the Orwellian Haiku 101 competition
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 363
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Oct 2022 12:53pm
“It’s better to burn out than fade away” from Neil Young’s song, “Hey Hey, My My (Into The Black)”.
Your poem could be describing depression. You did a nice job expressing the dread and hopelessness.
Your poem could be describing depression. You did a nice job expressing the dread and hopelessness.
19th Oct 2022 10:49am
Thank you! I think that's exactly the place I am in when I think of the future (on a large scale).
Anonymous
18th Oct 2022 4:28pm
Belated happy birthday 🎂
19th Oct 2022 10:49am
Anonymous
18th Oct 2022 10:28pm
Hello there
This little piece was quite interesting. It got me thinking about human relationships and how sometimes the decline is gradual and unassuming. It also made me think of how we also choose to spend our time on this earth.
There was something so deliciously human about this little thought. Thank you for sharing.
-M
This little piece was quite interesting. It got me thinking about human relationships and how sometimes the decline is gradual and unassuming. It also made me think of how we also choose to spend our time on this earth.
There was something so deliciously human about this little thought. Thank you for sharing.
-M
19th Oct 2022 10:53am
Hello there!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. What you've described is exactly the place I was reaching from. The prompt for this competition encouraged you to think of the future on a large scale. When I think of that future I think of the human propensity to watch ourselves slowly cause damage until it is too late. We tend to get comfortable adding pressure, little bits at a time, thinking that if it didn't break today it won't break tomorrow.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. What you've described is exactly the place I was reaching from. The prompt for this competition encouraged you to think of the future on a large scale. When I think of that future I think of the human propensity to watch ourselves slowly cause damage until it is too late. We tend to get comfortable adding pressure, little bits at a time, thinking that if it didn't break today it won't break tomorrow.
26th Oct 2022 1:57pm
Thinking about the end of a relationship, or is it? It is often said the termination is in effect when indifference sets in. Definitely a thought provoking write.
27th Oct 2022 12:47pm
Mostly thinking about the end of the world! I love the comparison though. It's the same neglect and slow deterioration.
Thank you for the comment🌸
Thank you for the comment🌸
19th Jan 2023 1:34am
i solved a quantum paradox
in hopes my partner would see me again
but my work is done, and no one
can see it
because the only one i want to show
doesn't believe im real
and so no one sees me
no matter how visible i tried to be
i'm still just as transparent
and small
and i fixed time
but my heart is still shattered
in hopes my partner would see me again
but my work is done, and no one
can see it
because the only one i want to show
doesn't believe im real
and so no one sees me
no matter how visible i tried to be
i'm still just as transparent
and small
and i fixed time
but my heart is still shattered
