deepundergroundpoetry.com
One
Neutral November’s
eerie early morning air
carries the whispers of finches
that hide in naked branches
I whistle back, entangle in song
reread my letters- a stack
of seven pages, packed, each
with a different address, left
out in the open less one
tucked into my jacket, I leave
towards the Subway line
rock with my pace, I hold
one letter close and kiss it,
drop it, hear it fall inside the
red box, knowing she will read it
before all meaning fades
I fear I have made the
mistake of leaving other
explanations to be discovered
today, I hear this oncoming train
coming fast. Here, where my
decision will last (beyond me)
Not one thing is choice. One
birdsong unsung, one written
word left for loved ones; delivered
or not, one moment of waiting;
getting on, or fatefully falling
between me and tomorrow:
one touch, one call, one breath.
eerie early morning air
carries the whispers of finches
that hide in naked branches
I whistle back, entangle in song
reread my letters- a stack
of seven pages, packed, each
with a different address, left
out in the open less one
tucked into my jacket, I leave
towards the Subway line
rock with my pace, I hold
one letter close and kiss it,
drop it, hear it fall inside the
red box, knowing she will read it
before all meaning fades
I fear I have made the
mistake of leaving other
explanations to be discovered
today, I hear this oncoming train
coming fast. Here, where my
decision will last (beyond me)
Not one thing is choice. One
birdsong unsung, one written
word left for loved ones; delivered
or not, one moment of waiting;
getting on, or fatefully falling
between me and tomorrow:
one touch, one call, one breath.
Published 5th Oct 2022
| Edited 6th Oct 2022
Author's Note
for the comp. Suicide Prevention.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 5
reads 386
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
6th Oct 2022 00:37am
This is very good, Ursa. Vivid and thought provoking. The subtle sadness of it permeates throughout it. And even a sense of loneliness.
Well done.
Hitting the "Like" button is for the quality of the write. And not an agreement of the subject. It hurts when people turn their own lights out. It leaves the world darker.
Well done.
Hitting the "Like" button is for the quality of the write. And not an agreement of the subject. It hurts when people turn their own lights out. It leaves the world darker.
6th Oct 2022 2:20pm
thank you so much Styxian. Not an easy topic to write about but an important one.
I appreciate you.
warmly,
ursa 💜
I appreciate you.
warmly,
ursa 💜
7th Oct 2022 9:15am
Really liked the way you controlled the tempo and cadence Ursa...
And your use of line breaks and the bending
of language to create an effect of twirling in the wind... In my perception...
Very well done...
And your use of line breaks and the bending
of language to create an effect of twirling in the wind... In my perception...
Very well done...
7th Oct 2022 5:10pm
23rd Mar 2024 4:39pm
This poem beautifully captures a sense of introspection and decision-making against the backdrop of a tranquil morning. The imagery of Neutral November sets a mood of quiet contemplation, while the presence of finches and the act of whistling back creates a poignant connection to nature amidst the speaker's inner turmoil.
The metaphor of the letters, each with a different address, suggests a scattering of thoughts and emotions, perhaps reflecting the complexity of the speaker's situation. The act of leaving one letter tucked into the jacket, then dropping it into the red box, symbolizes a decisive action amidst uncertainty.
The fear of leaving explanations undiscovered adds depth to the speaker's sense of responsibility and the weight of their choices. The impending arrival of the train serves as a powerful metaphor for the inevitability of consequences, highlighting the finality of decisions made.
Overall, the poem skillfully navigates themes of choice, consequence, and the passage of time, inviting reflection on the significance of individual moments and the interconnectedness of actions and their outcomes.
The metaphor of the letters, each with a different address, suggests a scattering of thoughts and emotions, perhaps reflecting the complexity of the speaker's situation. The act of leaving one letter tucked into the jacket, then dropping it into the red box, symbolizes a decisive action amidst uncertainty.
The fear of leaving explanations undiscovered adds depth to the speaker's sense of responsibility and the weight of their choices. The impending arrival of the train serves as a powerful metaphor for the inevitability of consequences, highlighting the finality of decisions made.
Overall, the poem skillfully navigates themes of choice, consequence, and the passage of time, inviting reflection on the significance of individual moments and the interconnectedness of actions and their outcomes.
