the first step

So tired of
waiting
for the
same
shit

and we both know
nothing
good
ever happens

Vacation-brained
lately
gotta
get the fuck
away
from my
hopes and dreams
that plague me

Irreversible misery lining the walls
of the fleshy prison
I lead on a string
attached to my dick
like that's ever got me
anything
oh my god
I'm past the point
of saving
I'm waking up

I'm born
I drown
and
I die

Looking up at
the
night time
blind
uncaring
sky

No
money or
house
and I'll never
amount to
the images
I collect
in my head
and I breathe in.

If you admit it
they say
it's the hardest step.

Nothing is gonna get
better than this.