Programmed Emotions...

I mimic happiness especially when you're happy.  
It's something I'm incapable of yet do better than you.  
I examine my pain and know this much.  
Too much of the same pain will eventually destroy me.  

You are no different, just as fragile as me.  
A skin made of silk the knife easily rips through.  
 
The thing labeled as "Love" is hollow coming from me.  
Emptiness is all that exists for me.  
It's something only learned whose purpose is to hurt.  
The feeble believed it was meant to bring happiness.  
 
The broken and distorted, there is a place just for them.  
Beneath the heels of those claiming to be perfect.  
I wonder if there is a place just for me.  
Somewhere that's beyond my programmed emotions.  
 
I mimic your face, see how happy you can be.  
Yet you insist on rejecting what common sense says to be grateful to have.  
I admit I am unable to fully understand the whirlwind of these overflowing emotions.  
 
Desperately needing a description, such a mystery.  
If I could only understand maybe then I'll understand you.  
 
These emotions felt all at once quickly make me lose sight.  
It slowly corrupts my meaningless existence.  
It brings me joys and sorrows that are hard for me to manage.  
The balance to both, there isn't an answer.  
 
An adrenaline of despair leading me to my demise.  
Unable to recover from a deep depression.  
I wish I could go back to how I was.  
Be done with all these programmed emotions.  
 
The very first time I learned to cry.  
It hurt so much inside.  
From then I stayed away.  
 
The thing labeled as "Love" is hollow coming from me.  
Emptiness is all that exists for me.  
It's something only learned whose purpose is to hurt.  
The feeble believed it was meant to bring happiness.  
 
The broken and distorted, there is a place just for them.  
Beneath the heels of those claiming to be perfect.  
I wonder if there is a place just for me.  
Somewhere that's beyond my programmed emotions.  
No...