deepundergroundpoetry.com
Unconditional Love
The goodness of being wanted,
outweighs all the badness of your actions.
With every hit I fall harder to the floor,
although i'm still here so could I be asking for more?
Curled up like a ball with hope
the ground will swallow me whole,
it's been awhile since I've felt this small.
outweighs all the badness of your actions.
With every hit I fall harder to the floor,
although i'm still here so could I be asking for more?
Curled up like a ball with hope
the ground will swallow me whole,
it's been awhile since I've felt this small.
Published 25th Jul 2022
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likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 1
reads 450
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
28th Jul 2022 1:27am
hullo
OK, you're here a little time now so I'll take you up on the honest not that I'm never not honest
you're settling in to the poetry decent enough, I've noticed you've toyed with different rhyme schemes n such. never any harm to dip yourself into the techniques and forms. try a little here a little there Google will give you tons of them
I find the content here very sad. found your wording of that trauma, the tone, the pace to be (oddly?) calm, resigned almost oppologetc and very well done
it is a task sometimes to tell a story in with a handful of words. I think what gave this a lot of credence is the honesty, vulnerability
I think you're improving every time you try it. I wondered about a while and awhile then kinda went off track so...
keep it up, I look forward to your next offering.
*hat tip*
OK, you're here a little time now so I'll take you up on the honest not that I'm never not honest
you're settling in to the poetry decent enough, I've noticed you've toyed with different rhyme schemes n such. never any harm to dip yourself into the techniques and forms. try a little here a little there Google will give you tons of them
I find the content here very sad. found your wording of that trauma, the tone, the pace to be (oddly?) calm, resigned almost oppologetc and very well done
it is a task sometimes to tell a story in with a handful of words. I think what gave this a lot of credence is the honesty, vulnerability
I think you're improving every time you try it. I wondered about a while and awhile then kinda went off track so...
keep it up, I look forward to your next offering.
*hat tip*
