If ever

If I was ever stopped by the cops
For jaywalking
My speech was all prepared.
''What? Don't you have anything better to do?
No bandits to chase?
No drug lord to apprehend?
No street gang to deal with?''

So I got caught
She wrote the ticket
She gave me the ticket
She said ''have a nice day''
Went back to her patrol car
And all along, the real chicken shit that I am
Kept his mouth tightly shut.