anxiety iii (nature bound)

It comes in waves
the panicked assault
one minute I'm fine
the next I'm not

We walked in the sunshine
and I felt the cool breeze
run through my hair
and for a brief moment
I was free of worry
and pain and the endless
tension headaches
not even sleep can cure

You hold my hand in the car
while I cry at how useless I feel
my small win today
was showering without a panic attack
and walking through gardens
trying to hone my focus
like the lens of my camera
and dwell in the beauty of nature
free from the things
that spin me out of control

We catched teens geo caching
and were glad they found
a reason to go outside
when it's easy to lose ourselves
in front of a screen

I spent 2 hours today
not looking at my phone
and trying to distract the panic
from my bones with artificial distractions

It comes in waves
the panicked assault
one minute I'm fine
the next I'm not

In this minute
I'm okay

© Indie Adams 2022